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Cantonese Eve: Candid Iva: Ignited (neobjavljena pjesma)

Autorica: Iva Tičić

The heat is oppressive. Air conditioning stays on, but little help can come from its whirring. Then the rain arrives, but does not cool off the air when attempting to open a window. Instead, it places you directly into a sauna; so as you may have noticed, there is no way out of this bath.

And then there is the loneliness to contend with. It becomes more oppressive and more costly by the minute. The room where I spend my days begins to swallow me like a beluga whale. I want it to be done with me, to spit me out like Pinocchio. I cannot fully exhale in its presence, so I breathe around it, carefully, cautiously, panting.

What space am I meant to occupy? Which part of this mahjong riddle am I, where am I to be at ease?

But ease itself, is overrated. You don’t live at ease, to achieve greatness, and comfortable people will not change the world. It is only those who ignite matches in whale darkness, who attempt this.

Shut up, I say, do the work, I say, repeat repeat. Move at a whim across the glorious sparkling lights of the Globe, rinse whale saliva from clothes, repeat, repeat.

And did I mention that I am not running? At least not running from something, but rather into this three story, monstrous fish –

Always so child-like when I strike a new match. Whatever wonders await: I cannot wait

to ignite them.